Seventeen is a weird age. Well, it is for me so far. However, I may sound a little ridiculous because it's not like seventeen is much different than sixteen..at all. Still, when I woke up this year on my birthday, I got a pang of sadness that hit my stomach hard. I realized one very sad realization. Possibly one of the most awful revelations I've ever had:
I'm growing up.
When I was a little girl, I used to sit in my room holding all of my dolls, crying because I knew that I would eventually I would have to grow up one day and would be unable to play with them. I would cry in bitter frustration too, because I could never escape to Never Neverland because it didn't exist. (Dang Peter Pan gave false dreams)
This birthday was just a very emotional birthday for me. I don't really know why, but as I sat in U.S History, after taking my final, I started to cry.
I think though, that it was after reading all the text messages that flooded my phone inbox that got me. I just felt so...so HAPPY. Beyond happiness really. I saw how much people loved me. I saw how many AMAZING people God had placed in my life. They're the vessels Father placed in my life, that He works through to show me how much He loves me. It was such an overwhelming thought, in a good way, just blown away by how much people really loved me. The coolest most incredible people.
I guess I'm just going to have to deal with the fact that I'm growing up and it's okay. It's going to be an exciting journey, as I walk through this year onto my 18th birthday, and then 19th and then 20th, etc. Because not only am I going to grow as a person, in who I am, but I'm also going to get to walk with God through many more experiences that show me more of who He is. YES! AND, I get to do it with my friends right behind me. This is the life. This is MY life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. C'est la Vie!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Every year I hear about people who make New Year Resolutions and I've realized that I've never actually made any. So, for 2010, I've decided that I'm actually going to sit down and make a list of the goals I want to accomplish this year:
1. Drink No Soda. None. Zip. Zero. Nada. If I mess up, it's okay, but my aim to to drink as little as possible. For some people who take in Coca-Cola like air, its a challenge but I'm pretty certain it won't be that hard, seeing how I don't even really like soda. Water, please.
2. Run 1,500 miles. Yup. You read it right. One thousand five hundred miles. Five miles everyday and eight miles on Saturdays.
3. Take up yoga. You know, learn all those fancy moves and find my inner chai or whatever. Just kidding, I don't even know what inner chai even is. All I know is that yoga gives you abs, and I want abs.
4. Keep up with this thing. By "this thing" I mean my blog. Hopefully it won't be a forgotten fad that I was once intent on keeping up with.
5.Have a picnic. Why is that so hard? You just throw food in a stupid basket and lay on a patch of grass. Yet why haven't I done it? I have noooo idea. 2010 better give me a picnic.
6. Get more involved. With what? Summit Christian Center, the Covenant Community, the Boy with a Ball team here in San Antonio that works with kids to build relationships with them and help prepare them to be the leaders they're called to be, and stuff in school.
7.To have Quiet Times Daily. To every day, discipline myself to read the Word in effort to live according to it. If not reading the Bible, then having worship alone or just sitting there in silence and being in the presence of God.Daily. No matter how tired or busy I seem to kid myself that I am.
8.To call people more. Fact: I'm the worst caller-backer ever. EH-VER! Honestly, people call me all the time and I go "Oh hey I'll call you back in five minutes", which turns into five weeks. and then by that time, they forgot why they even called me. Also, to maintain relationships with people not living where I do.
9.To Document 2010. Do not get mad or upset at me if I have a camera every five seconds shoved in your face while you eat the slice of cheese. I'm planning on capturing as many moments as possible with my handy dandy photo taking machine! (AKA my digital camera) So just go with it and give me a smile okay?
That's about all I can think of for now. Maybe I'll add more later, but for now, I'm gonna see how well I can do with these...