Love Is Never A Stagnant Pool

Background Story:

At the after school program I work with, there's a girl named Megan.

                                  Let's call her Megan shall we?

She used to somewhat annoy me because she would always follow me around and was extremely clingy and a couple of weeks ago she came up to me to talk to me. In that talk, she revealed to me so much that my view on her was changed. Jesus gave me COMPLETELY new eyes to see her in. She was no longer a pest, an annoyance, she was just a really hurt little girl. She explained how she spent the majority of her days with her dad, "the biggest meaniest man in the world" because he always errupted and responded with anger, shouting or spankings for the smallest things. So obviously, she was always scared of him.

Her mom worked late into the nights and would make it home only to find her brother and her asleep. Once she gave them kisses and left the room, Megan would sneak into the hallway and listen to the discussions late at night. She told me her dad hurt her feelings once when she overheard her mother tell him "But she's only seven years old!" where her dad responded "But she's SO annoying!"

I can't imagine the heart break she felt when she heard her own dad say that his own daughter was annoying, the thing she heard everyone else throughout the day label her as was affirmed by her daddy.

"So I never talk to anyone. My parents always say “Not now”, and I don't have any friends. I really don't. They all think that I'm weird and when I want to play with them they run away. So I talk to myself... BUT THAT MAKES THEM THINK I'M WEIRDER!!!"

                     I listened. I listened to her frustrations and confessions of loneliness and rejection and having no worth in the eyes of anyone. I listened to her hurts as they surfaced the more she talked. I told her "But you know that your parents love you right??" and she said, "They used to tell me, but they barely never tell me anymore." Awkwaaaaaard. What can you say to that? So I said,"But you know that I love you right? So very much! I think you're a neat girl who is smart, BEAUTIFUL, funny, and has the prettiest hair I've ever seen!"

           Her face lit up suddenly.

"And did you know that Jesus loves you even more than I love you!?! His love for you, makes my love seem like nothing! That's how much it is!"

           Her face was a vision. It was joy, amazement, astonishment and disbelief all at once. I told her to talk to me anytime she wanted. Anytime. Even if she just wanted to tell me about her day, no matter how good or bad it was."Sometimes,” I told her, “we won't be able to talk though. But when that happens, did you know that you can always talk to Jesus?"

"But HOW?! He's not even here! How do we know if He's really listening?"

I explained that she could talk to Him like He was sitting right there, next to us, to tell Him how she felt and He really does He hear even if it seems like we're talking to a wall.

"Sometimes," I said, "I tell Jesus whenever I'm super scared or sad or angry. I just say 'Jesus, you need to help me because my mom is yelling at me and I don't know what to do but I'm scared. But I know You're the only one who can help me, so Jesus, please help me feel that You're here with me, and help me calm me down.' and He ALWAYS DOES! You might not feel it right away, it's not magical, but just keep talking to Him, He'll make you feel safe and you won't even be scared. And He speaks to you in your heart. Not like a voice, but you can like, feel Him in your heart. "

"So. I can talk to Him whenever I want...? Andddd....He hears me?"

"Yup."

It was hard for her to grasp, a little frustrating too since she asked why we couldn't see Him, but I sensed her hope in what I said. As she left to go home, before she reached the door, she yelled out "WAIT!!!! CAN I TALK TO HIM IN MY HEAD TOO!?!?"

SO THE OTHER DAY:

I was walking down a hallway, holding her hand, and I asked her how things were going at home and she responded:

"Well actually, things are better. 'Cause that one time me and you talked, remember? I talked to God that night. And then the next day, my dad started yelling at me and my brother again, and I 'membered what you said, so in my head I told God that I was scared and that I needed Him to help me not be scared and then a little bit later, my dad stopped yelling and I wasn't even scared anymore. I told my mom how I talked to you and how I talked to God and my daddy doesn't yell anymore. Sometimes he gets mad, but then he calms down and doesn't yell or spank us anymore. He's nice now. The other day, I told him to have a good day as I got out of the car and you know what he said??! He said “You too! Love you!” 'Member how you said that He hears me? He does! I know so 'cause He made my daddy stop yelling. Ms. Renata, I talk to God all the time now! I tell Him everything and sometimes, I fall asleep in the middle of us talking at night. I feel Him in my heart. I feel like He's talking too. But not a lot, just a little. But it's kind of like being friends at first. I know what you're talking about Ms. Renata! Sometimes, I even hear Him tell me not to do bad things or how to be nice to my daddy. And one night, when I was scared of my closet, my daddy just shut the door but I still couldn't go to sleep, so then, I started telling God that I was scared and I just fell asleep."

 I didn't even know what to do. I literally couldn't speak because I was overwhelmed by so many emotions. I was so proud of her, so awe filled that God made Himself so real to her in things that seemed small, but that in her seven year old mind seemed huge. That being in the transformation of her dad and falling asleep after being terrified of her closet. I was so excited that she heard Him, so full of joy and ecstasy, and amazed at the way He broke into her family's relationships.

I told her to go down to the playground and assured her that I would be down in a sec. As she hopped down the stairs, I went into the bathroom and cried!!! Because I was SO AMAZED AT THE WAY THE FATHER MADE HIMSELF KNOWN- in the transformation of her dad and even in having peace after being terrified of her closet.

           Mainly, I was so amazed at how deeply the love of Christ penetrated through the rejection, the sadness, the lies and the wounds the enemy tried to instil in this little girl. I was filled with awe and astonishment, at the way His glory and power were manifested through the life of a seven year old girl, who for the first time in her life, is experiencing the love of Jesus and what it's like to be accepted in Him, and I was watching His hand orchestrate this all before my very eyes.

 Praise be to Him, who's constantly at work in our lives and making Himself known! He is the light that breaks down the walls darkness tries to build. He is our source of life that floods our hearts with joy!

Our hope.

          Our refuge.

                   Our healer.

                               Our Father.

This is the Kingdom of God. And it is real. And it is moving.

Thank you Jesus, for letting me be a part of it.

He NEVER ceases to amaze me